I wish I had the right words for you to understand
I wish you could feel how my whole chest aches everyday
Why am I the one feeling like I'm jumping through hoops to make you happy
Do you get I cry EVERYDAY
You knew a month, and accepted it for a week
I knew for months and was happy and ready for him for months

Happy endings are the things of fair tales and movies
Happy endings are for dreams and other people

I want the pain to go away but wanting doesn't help
My wanting is ignored and never gets me anywhere

The pain doesn't go away, do you get that?
It doesn't stop, it doesn't take a break
3 am and the pain is still there,
While everyone sleeps and dreams I cry and hurt

I just want to curl up in a ball and be held

i'm not ok, and i'm trying to learn to be ok with that.

if you hadn't heard yet, I lost Edward Oct 11th.  If you want more details you'll have to ask Pog bc I still can't talk about it.

my life is a complete mess.

i have the most amazing friends who i'm learning to lean on more bc i really can't do this on my own.  i'm trying to learn to be weak.

- Had an awesome weekend hanging out @ MLG with Dirt, Nimby and Buu.

- Went to my "Lil Brother's" wedding, Marsha was beautiful and I'm very happy for them both, Kitt was my date, and got to see some friend from high school who I haven't seen since High school.

- Had the symposium all weekend and learned some good stuff but those chairs were hell on my butt.

- I feel crappy today

- MC, my cat, died yesterday, but my parents didn't tell me until today after I dragged it out of Mom.  They don't know why she passed away.

Now I'm gonna go back to feeling crappy on the couch.

I've been quiet lately but that's because life got in the way.  Here is a quick update bc I'm pissed, I'll get to that in a bit.

It's a boy!  His name is Edward David.  Edward is Pog's father and grandfather's name, and David is Pog and two of my brothers' middle name.  Pog and I went and looked at furniture last night just to get an idea.  And we did a lot of talking about insurance, and money and stuff.  It was good to hang out and talk.

And now on to why I'm pissed.  My mother sent this e-mail to all of my siblings, Pog and I.

Hey everyone,

Since all of our lives have been affected by Teresa's pregnancy I wanted to clarify our feelings.

First and foremost, we love Teresa.  We are sad that this news was greeted with tears of sadness and not tears of joy.  We don't hate Matt, either.  His life is in upheaval right now, too.

We suggest that Teresa and Matt to put the baby up for adoption - for several reasons
     1)  We feel that this little person has the right to be raised in a family with a mother and father present, who want him and can provide for him.
     2)  Adoption would give Teresa and Matt the opportunity to move on with their lives and at some later date, when they are ready, they can marry someone with whom they can plan for a family.
     3)  This child could bless the lives of a couple who can't have children of their own, who really want a child, and are prepared for him.
     4)  I believe that some or all of the medical bills are met through the adoption which would relieve Teresa and Matt of a major financial burden, especially since she has to have a C-section.
     5)  With open adoptions we may still be able to be a part of his life.

I have asked Teresa to visit LDS Family Services because they can give her counseling about ALL aspects of this situation, what to expect, where to get help, etc.  I would encourage Matt to go there, also.  The counseling is free, not "churchy", and available to everyone.  Dale and I will be going there because we find we need a professional to help us deal with our volatile emotions.  There is also help through the State and Federal Welfare Departments, but I think the Church program would be much more personal and, if they decide to do an adoption they would have a better chance of choosing a couple who will not divorce, become drug addicts or alcoholics.

We will not accept any financial responsibility for any medical bills.

We will not provide daycare for the baby.  We have raised our kids.  Your Dad is just retiring and we want to be free to come and go as we please.

We will not shop for baby stuff.  If they decide on adoption, they don't need any little reminders laying around the house (like Patrick's shoes in the middle of the floor the day he left for his mission).  If they choose to keep the baby there will be plenty of time to shop after he is born.

This message is sent with love, we hope it will be received the same way.

Our love to all,

Mom & Dad


WTF!?!?!?!?!

I mean really does she actually think that I will want to talk to her and that I will be ok with her telling all my siblings this?  I am fucking pissed!

/me goes off to find something to distract her.

*Edit:  I don't think I can say this enough, I have the greatest friends!  They had been so supportive and just listen when I complain about my parents.  I don't know how I would be able to do this without the support of all of my friends.  And the fact that they are happy and excited for me makes me happy too.  So to all my friends, THANK YOU!  I love y'all!  Y'all are awesome!!

I'm all moved in, YAY!!!  Still have a bit to put away and find places for to considered all unpacked.  I'll have pictures or something up soon and will post a link when they are.  Speaking of the move I just want to say that Vazz and Kitt are awesome!  They came over and helped with the move and helped me build my new DVD holder and never complained.  They are completely awesome I'm not sure how I would have done that move with out them.

In other news I finally told my mother about Acorn.  And she cried, a lot.  Her first thing was to tell me I should give the baby up.  She seemed upset when I told her that I was keeping Acorn.  THen she went into the whole she doesn't belive that I can do this and that I'm not strong enough to handle being a single mother.  Going off on how I'm a dissappointment and what not.  So after I was made to feel about two inches high I told Mom I was going home.  Came home and called Pog and cried to him for a while.  He told me I've proved my parents wrong before and that we've dealt with my parents' negativity before and we will do it again.  Then he told me that Charlie & the Chocolate Factory was on Disney and that I should watch it because Oompa Loompas make everything better.  Between the Oompa Loompas and ice cream my night did start to get better.

Yesterday I stayed around the aparment not doing anything due to being tired and emotionally drained.  Worm came over and we had dinner then back to my apartment where we disscussed my DVD collection and he wondered WHY on many of mine.

Today while at work I called me mom to ask a question for something for TJ.  She tells me that she's told my dad, Patrick and Steven.  Also that she's told their bishop and that I should go talk to him.  Also told me that they want me move home because they don't think I can do this on my own and they want to keep an eye on me.  They also want me to go see one of the church's councilors.  She told me that they will let me live at home but aren't going to help me finacially.  Funny thing is that I haven't asked them to help me finacially.

So yeah that went about as expected.  All the happyness I've had over Acorn came crashing down.  And now its back to ice cream and cuddling with Trillian.  :(

I feel like one.

Sunday Vincent started feeling bad.  He was stumbling around and was hanging his head a lot.  Sunday night take him and Trillian to my room to go to bed, both dogs are laying on the bed around to fall asleep when Vincent turns on Trillian and just goes after her.  She did nothing to him and he just freaked out on her.  Trillian runs off the bed and hides across the room.  After Vincent has stopped growling and laying down again I try to move him because he is laying in my spot on the bed and he goes after me so I pull away quickly.  My first fear is that Vincent is showing signs of "Cocker Rage".  Which of course brings in the whole I can't have a dog that will randomly turn on anyone at any time with Acorn on the way. Vincent spent that night in the sunroom and Trillian spent it afraid of the bed. 

Monday I kept an eye on Vincent but he wasn't getting any better.  Tuesday morning he had diarrhea so it was off to work with me he went.  TJ suspected disc problems or either a tummy ache, gave me meds for an upset stomach and said if he didn't get better then to bring him back in.  Well Vincent didn't get better so he went with me to work again today.  We did x-rays this time and it proved that yes indeed Vincent has disc problems.  As good as it is to know what is actually going on with him this means that sadly Vincent can't do stairs.  I had a few options, don't take the apartment I'm in love with and wait and try to find another apartment on a first floor but who knows how long that is going to take to find one in my price range, see if my parents will keep Vincent, or put out an ad and hope to find Vincent a home with strangers.

Well Mom and Dad won't keep Vincent, one dog and one cat is enough for them now.  I have movers and truck and everything set up for the move Sunday.  So after first talking with a friend I made a desperate, last ditch effort call to my brother Patrick.  After asking, begging, and then crying because I don't want some stranger to take Vincent, Patrick agrees to take Vincent in.  And I feel like a horrible mother.  I can't take care of my baby, he is my baby.  He has been with me through moving, college, Pog and my break-up, all sorts of up and downs and now I'm giving him away.  I feel horrible but it is the best thing for him really.  The constant up and down of the stairs will make his back worse and quickly and that will lead to surgery, a surgery that TJ doesn't do so I would have to go to a specialist and I really can't do that to my baby.

And to make matters worse now, Vincent isn't eating, its like he knows what's coming and is become depressed and its killing me.  :(

OK I know I drop a bomb like that and disappear for a week, sorry.

First back tracking a bit.  Two weeks ago I headed out to Maryland to visit Nirt.  It was a great weekend, that's when they found out about Acorn and my dodging the whole drinking subject finally made sense to them.  After an adventure at the airport of getting my flight changed due to my original flight being delayed and then getting the "special" security check bc of someone, /me eyes the guilty party, I made it to Baltimore safe and sound, then got in a car with Nimby!  JK!  That night there was spilling the beans and then very good steak.  Saturday we walked around DC which was a lot of fun and very informative, Nimby seems to know a lot.  Sunday we went to the beach then drove around some before ending up at Nimby's parents' house for crabs, burger, campfire, and awesome banna cream pie.  The trip was great and very much needed and TONS of fun.  Go here to see pictures.

The following weekend there was dinner with Kitt and Vazz and that's when they found out.  And as you probably already know after that was when I made the blog post and everyone else found out.  I also told my sister that day.  As of right now she is the only one in the family who knows.  Still haven't told my parents but at this point I am waiting to make sure I have a place to live if/when my parents freak out on me and kick me out.  Speaking of that, I am still waiting to hear from the apartment complex, seems that the person I dealt with was out most of the week so its taken them a while to get around to my application.

Started school this week.  Almost done with my Business minor and that makes me happy, this will also be my last full time semester which is good because once Acorn comes I won't be about to do full time.

Acorn is doing great.  Had an appointment Thursday afternoon and got to see Acorn again.  We have a healthy looking spine and a cute little fist!!  SO CUTE!  Acorn wasn't being very cooprative, which isn't surprising due to the parents, so there was lots of poking and proding to try and get Acorn to move around.

This week I also had the opportunity to get a new picture site up and add pictures.  So if you would like to head on over here and check them out.  Lots of different things there and some very old pictures of yours truely.  More will be put up when I get around to them.  And maybe at some point I'll get ambitious enough to try and caption most of them.

Well there is your weekly update on me.  And thanks to everyone for your support and congradulations.  It seems the more people I talk to about Acorn the happier and more excited I get.  In fact I am almost chomping at the bit to start shopping of course want to wait until I have my own place so my parents don't stumble upon them before I've told them.

I've been kinda quiet lately I know but there has been a lot going on in my life recently and a big part of what's going on I haven't been ready to talk about.  But tonight I covered the last of my important bases, well of the ones that I know would read this blog that its now safe to bring it to my friends who keep up to date with my life through here (hi Crio!)  :) .

So I take the time now and this my little space of the internet to announce that, well, I'm pregnant.  *waits for shock to wear off, cursing to subside, and the fainters to come too*  I found out shortly after Nirt 08 at the end of June and I am about 3 and a half months along.  Those of you that were around me at Quakecon, I'm sorry to say that I lied to you about why I wasn't drinking but the father didn't know yet and I was waiting to tell him before I told everyone else.  Which brings about the next question I'm sure is in your mind which I'll confirm what you suspect that answer to be, the father is Pog.  Yes he knows, I had to tell him Saturday night of Quakecon due to the fact that I had, it seems, really pissed him off last time we actually talked.  That night he was pretty much in total shock, not that I blame him because well I was for about a whole month (still am some days).  We have talked since then and he's dealing better, and as well as one could expect with this news.

My child already has a handle, Acorn, fitting I know and its better then calling my child "it".  Acorn is healthy and growing well.  I heard the heartbeat for the first time last week and it was an amazing sound!  I fell in love that day.  I'm "lucky" I don't get morning sickness I get night sickness, which really sucks when trying to hide this news from people.  As of this post date Acorn's presence has been made to my boss, Worm (he confronted me about my being sick so much), Dirt, Nimby, Kitt, Vazz and my sister.  I haven't told my parents because I'm trying to find the right time and way to handle that.

With this news I have put apartment hunting into full force and filled out an application today and will hopefully get the apartment.  Other then that been trying to stay healthy and destress my life.

I've had some recent adventures that I'll post up at a later time.  I just wanted to get this news out before the secret eats me alive.  Will post more later and keep everyone up to date on Acorn's condition.

He being TJ.  Monday at work was very much a Monday.  Kinda a long entry, sorry, but I needed to do the set up.

We didn't have an surgeries so I figured it would give me plenty of time to catch up on some paper work and what not, boy was I wrong.  From the moment I got there I should have known things were going to be bad.  One of our boarders had had diarrhea over the night before and it was ALL OVER her cage and her.  So not only was there cleaning of the cage but she also got an impromptu feet cleaning, which normally isn't that big a deal especially with a small dog but this one was special, she's a one eyed mostly blind dog.

Get her cleaned up, take care of the rest of the animals and open the front door at 8.  Our 8 am tries to tell me that whoever it was that she talked to when she set up her appointment had told her different prices for the office exam and the blood test.  I look at the book and oh that's right, that's my hand writing that put her on the book and I remember having the conversation with her.  I tell her this and that I do remember going over the correct prices a few times with her on the phone and that I had to correct her when she repeated prices back to confirm bc she kept saying prices much lower then what I was telling her.

Take care of her pet, schedule a few more appointments for the morning when one of our boarders' owner comes in to pick her up.  I go to the back to get the file and when I come back up front I'm basically yelled at by a lady that her dog was hit by a car, has to be seen right then, blood coming out of its eye and a broken leg.  I ask where the dog is and am told its in the car, to which I reply are you going to bring it in?  She looks at me confused and asks really?  I do my best to not roll my eyes and tell her yes bring the dog in so we can start an exam.  While she goes out to tell the two guys with her to bring the dog in I check out our boarder, go back and get her, take her up front and and hand her off to her owner and the lady is still trying to get the dog in.  They finally get the dog in and I tell them go through this door and straight back, they don't listen and go the wrong way and can't seem to understand what "go through the door behind you" means.  Now granted their dog had just been hit by a car and was in bad shape but it took TJ yelling at them to get them to understand.  The lady is still at the front and starts grabbing for my phone saying she has to call her daughter and of course the phone starts ringing.  I tell her I need her to fill out the new client information so we know who the pet is we are working on and who the owner is so we know who to go to to have decisions made.  She keeps trying to get the phone insisting that she has to call her daughter right then and there.  I tell her no what she needs to do is fill out the information so we can start treatment on the dog, the dogs health is more important then her calling her daughter.  Finally get her to sit down and fill out the form which also means she stops yelling at me, and I can finally answer the phone.

Once I get the information on who the dog is I hand her a phone and head back to see what TJ needs and to give him the pet information.  I get to the back and TJ asks me to look in the dogs mouth and tell him what I see.  I take one look at the WHITE tongue and gums and say either a dead dog or a dog in high shock.  (White tongue and gums means that there is no blood flow to them and that's VERY bad, usually means there is no blood to make it there bc its leaking out somewhere else.)  TJ guesses that the dog is bleeding into the stomach and possibly the lungs/chest and needs to be put down.  Lady comes barging back saying that her daughter is on her way with her daughters and asks how bad it is.  TJ is honest and tells her the best thing for the dog at this point is to put it down so its out of pain, there is nothing we can do, there are signs of neurologically problems.  Lady's son happens to come back and says no we aren't putting the dog down we need to do whatever we can for the dog and they proceeded to argue.  TJ has me help try and pull blood so we can do a test and phone starts ringing.  I answer and ask if I could put the client on hold and get a very rude "NO" I ask if its an emergency and he says no but he's apart of the family that brought the hit by car in, TJ gives me the just-put-them-on-hold-this-pet-is-more-important look and i try to tell the guy that I need to put him on hold bc we are working on his pet, he again says no, so I just put the phone down and hold off the vein for TJ.  Go up front and tell the lady that she has a phone call.

After many phone calls they finally decide to put the dog down but want us to wait for her daughter to get there with her kids so they can say goodbye.  TJ and I look at each other then the dog and really just want to smack the lady for making this dog suffer longer.  Daughter finally gets there, kids cry all over the dog, and keep crying, and keep crying and TJ finally has to tell them to take the girls up front..  Once we are finally alone back in the back again we try to find a vein that has blood still in it so we can deliver the euthanasia solution and can't find one so we had to go the other route, straight to the heart.  Now this is a fairly good sized dog which means that we need to put a good amount of solution into its system to put it to sleep.  For syringes that big needles just slide on the end instead of twisting on.  Also euthanasia solution is very thick which means its harder to push through a small opening.  TJ was having some difficulty trying to get the solution to go in so he push the plunger in the syringe harder and in doing so caused the solution to spray out from between the syringe and needle and straight into my eyes and mouth.  Next thing I know I'm at the sink covering my face with water trying to wash my eyes out.  Moments later I'm getting light headed and dizzy, I tell TJ this and am given the order to go to the hospital right then.  So not in the best condition I'm off to the hospital to get an IV.

So take this as a warning, never look at larger syringe that is full of euthanasia solution when it is being given unless you know the needle is on securely, your eyes are protected, and your mouth is closed.  Euthanasia solution tastes horrible by the way and is really sickie and hard to get out of your hair.

And that's my fun story from work for the week.  Hopefully the rest of the week will be calmer and then this Friday I am off to Baltimore to party it up with Dirt and Nimby and I can't wait!

** So in reply to Kitt's note, I did survive, I'm not dead.  Also I had an IV for about two hours to flush out my system.  It was all sorts of fun.

Last week I was called upon to answer some dog related questions, after doing my best to give some info I gave Ceilidh a number of a place to call for discounted shots and heart worm.  And the convo ended up going like this:

<`7wiggy> i know, i might have like CO more if i had known you then
<Ceilidh> yeah probably. I'm basically the coolest thing about Colorado.
<`7wiggy> i believe it
<`7wiggy> although one thing i do miss is all the dog parks, they are hard to find around here and most of them suck
<Ceilidh> heh yeah. I love dog parks :D
<`7wiggy> use to take mine to the cherry creek dog park off of parker, vincent loves the water so he loved having the river there to swim in
<Ceilidh> That's where we go!
<`7wiggy> DUDE!
<Ceilidh> My dad's been going there for like... 6 or 7 years.
<`7wiggy> i use to work at the petsmart that's right there
<Ceilidh> That's totally where we shop.
<Ceilidh> And also where we take our dog for veterinary purposes.
<Ceilidh> She got her shots and spayed there and did her dog training there.
<`7wiggy> do you remember the trainer's name, was it cathy?
<Ceilidh> Yeah Cathy
<`7wiggy> I love cathy!
<Ceilidh> She's crazy. I love her.
<Ceilidh> She was always saying our dog looked like she was on a bender cause she had red eyes from allergies or something.
<`7wiggy> aww, yeah that's cathy
<`7wiggy> next time you see her, tell her that Twiggy and Trillian say hi
<Ceilidh> hehe okay
<`7wiggy> i almost interend at that vet there and had i, i probably would have seen your dog
<Ceilidh> when did you move back to Texas?
<`7wiggy> Sept 11
<`7wiggy> of last year
<Ceilidh> man. we so could have been friends.
<Ceilidh> there was the potential that I was at the dog park at the same time as you on multiple occasions.
<`7wiggy> i know
<Ceilidh> also. I bet there were times when I was at petsmart buying something and you were working.
<`7wiggy> probably, i was at that one for about a year
<Ceilidh> that's really weird to think about.
<Ceilidh> I mean. Colorado is a decent size place. Forget that you lived in this particular state. The fact that you lived so close and worked where I shopped and took your dogs to the same park is crazy
<`7wiggy> there is a chance i might have been your cashier
<Ceilidh> very possible
<Ceilidh> which means you probably would have seen my dog.
<`7wiggy> probably

Crazy huh?  I so could of had an awesome geek friend had we known of each other back then.

In other news, Quakecon was this past weekend.  I was different.  I dunno what it was but it was just different.  Didn't drink but I don't think that's what made it so different.  I was good to see people I only see once a year like Tech, Trash, Darthron, Seabiscuit, Spicey, Vix and others.  No real drama.  Got pissed off that someone didn't hold to something he said and that I was lied to by a friend.  Was kept up Friday night by Vazz's snoring.  :)  Also did something I never thought I would, introduced myself to Misty and her friend.  Why did I think I would never do that?  Misty is Pog's ex before me.  Although I found it kinda odd that she acted like she had no idea who I was, when I know for a fact that Pog had talked to her about me before.  Whatever. All around the year was just different, fun but different.  Oh and got Death Faerie to have her first Illusion and that was fun getting her drunk.  :)  Also got a box of her Monster cookies bc Worm kept putting his foot in his mouth.

Not really a whole lot else going on.  Working on getting registered and set up for school for this semester.  Jacob has a house and I'm suppose to go take a look at it this week hopefully so I can say yay or nay to moving in with them.  I have decided that either way I'm out come the beginning of Sept. I don't care if I have to eat ramon for months I NEED to move out a year is long enough to be stuck at home.

My pups are great and I love them.  And I guess that's all going on here for now.

**** So I just got a message from Misty over MySpace.  Seems that she did know who I was but with the whole drinking and meeting lots of people thing it just didn't click.  Which happens a lot at quakecon, the drinking and meeting lots of people thing.  But yeah so she kinda apologized for that.  And then ended her message with "It's nice to know that after Matt and I broke up he ended up with a nice and cute girlfriend. :)" Kinda makes you feel a little good, in that weird alternate universe sort of way.

These two aren't nearly as detailed as my last few, although it just might be that I don't remember them as much and didn't have them for days on end.

1.  All of the Ni! people are together and we decided to go play laser tag.  The place that we go to has themes for their rooms.  We pick an old mobster theme.  You have to be in costume, which I guess the place provides, to be able to go into the rooms.  So all the guys get into pin striped suits and fedors and the girls all are in flapper dresses.  And all the guns are made to look like tommy guns and the such.  It was odd.  And them for some reason all the girls got chained up to the wall and the guys had to save us or something to that sort.  But the catch was that each girl could only be saved by their guy, so all the other girls are getting saved and I've feeling really pretty screwed and lonely at this point because no one can save me.  And then I woke up.

2. I just remember the jest of this one, no real details.  It was for some Ni! party and the thrower of the party decided that the party's theme was to come as your handle and you weren't allowed to come as just yourself or you wouldn't get entry to the party.  I happened to mention this to worm the other day... so be on the look out that that might actually happen.  :|

In other news I am now sleeping in the downstairs room.  I wouldn't really say living because most of my stuff is in the dinning room and living room.  My computer was not a fan of the move and decided to stop working.  So after backing up the important stuff on my computer Worm tried something that he didn't believe would work but decided to give it a try before completely reinstalling windows... and it worked.  He has no idea how/why it worked but it did and now I have my computer back.  Also got a new keyboard because my other one was crappy, and my cat stole the spacebar... after it had already fallen off from her pulling the keyboard out of my arms.  I got the Nexus of Dominion.  It's pretty nice, taking a bit to get use to it because the keys don't stick out as much.  But I am a fan of the lights and its black so it matches the rest of my computer unlike the beige $10 one I was using.

Not a whole lot other things are going on.  Just working a lot right now.  I'm building up extra hours so that I can take time off for Quakecon, which is next week and I'll probably spend a good chunk of it hanging out at the pool at my hotel :), and for a trip to Baltimore to see Nirt.  I am much more excited about the second reason for taking time off.  I am in much need of a vacation and hanging out with Nirt sounds like a good time to get said vacation.

• When a co-worker is going to clean out the office fridge and throw away unmarked things.

• When your brother is moving and is expecting you to help him move, even though you have work that day.

• When your brother is moving which means there will be many people you don't know wandering around your house.

• When someone hasn't told someone else they are engaged/married

• When a friend hasn't yet proposed to their S.O.

• When your mother is going to have people come into your room and move your bed out of it and in the process come across some things you would rather she not see... EVER.

This latest one is what happened to me today.  I told my mother a few times this week that I was working today (Saturday) due to Shelley being out on vacation.  She happened to have forgotten and called my work to see if I was there this morning and then to talk to me once she knew I was.  Seems my parents had gotten people to come over and help move the heavy stuff that is upstairs downstairs for the painting and recarpeting that's going to take place starting next week.  Mom was calling to let me know that they were going to be moving the bed that I was sleeping on out of my current room and will be putting the mattresses from my actual bed on the floor in the room I'm moving into.  I don't think anything of this and go about my day.  I get home come up to my room with no bed and sit down at my computer.  I notice that there is some stuff on my desk that I didn't put there.  Upon closer look its this book, which I received along with another book when I hosted a Pure Romance party, under the bag that held my Playboy bunny costume from last Halloween.  You know not really something you want your mother to find.

WOW!!  

WEDDING! The Musical

Just WOW!  Go enjoy, laugh, cry. Go now!

The latest one is set the weekend of Nirt '08.  I'm driving down to Houston and get in a bad car accident.  Pog and Worm happen to get stuck in the traffic from the accident and when they get up to the actual wreck Pog recognizes my car and makes Worm pull over.  After helping the officers on the scene find my phone by calling it they tell Pog and worm that I was pulled from my car unconscious and taken to a local hospital.  The guys are given a police escort to the hospital so they can get around all the traffic, oh and worm tells the officers that Pog is my boyfriend so that they can get information.  They get to the hospital and find out I'm in surgery.  They try calling my parents but get the answering machine so they leave a message.  After I get out of surgery they are let in my room, I have a broken wrist, some broken ribs and lots of cuts and bruises, and I apparently fell into a coma at some point.  While waiting for me to wake up the guys make calls to everyone to let them know what's going on, Pog and worm discuss sending someone to my parents house because Pog doesn't think my parents will check the answering machine (they don't do this just leave another message on the answering machine), they find internet in my hospital room and get on IRC so they can keep everyone updated.

Vazz, Kitt, and Brando stop at the hospital on their way to Houston where there is a discussion over who should stay at the hospital and who should go, Pog practically forces everyone else to go and decides that he will stay.  I come to at some point during the night, my parents are finally reached and I have all sorts of tests done.  I'm released the next day and Pog and I head to Dirt's parents' house.  After checking in with Dirt and her making sure I'm ok and still willing to be in her wedding, and saying its weirdly fitting that someone was in a car accident that weekend we go to our hotel to get showers and get ready for the rehearsal dinner.  I cry in the shower because my right arm is in a cast and wrapped in a bag and I can't wash my hair so Pog has to help me wash my hair and I feel like an idiot because I can't wash my own hair.

Once we get back Dirt's parents' for the rehearsal Crazy Wedding Planner (CWP) takes over.  After she tells the guys where to stand she starts to give bridesmaids instructions.  After placing Kt she asks who is older of Cassie and myself, I raise my casted arm.  CWP gets this look of horror on her face and calls Dirt over.  She asks Dirt if she knows that one of her bridesmaids is beat to shit and has a cast.  Dirt says yes and tells her about the accident.  CWP then starts going off on how I'm selfish for still expecting to be in the wedding even though I look like I do and how I'll ruin Dirt's pictures by being a bridesmaid.  I get emotional over this so basically run off to the house, Dirt tries to get through to CWP who has started rambling about how she might be able to find someone to wear my dress in the wedding in my place and then maybe the photographer can super impose my face on this person's body later so it looks like I was in the wedding.  Dirt finally slaps CWP across the face to get her attention.  Everyone goes quiet then they start clapping and cheering.  Dirt tells CWP that its her (Dirt) wedding and she will have whoever she wants in her wedding and if CWP has a problem with that then she can suck it.  Dirt then storms off to check on me.  She finds me with Kt and Pog (who I guess both followed me after I ran off) and tells me she does want me in her wedding, and then jokingly thanks me for giving her a reason to slap CWP bc she had wanted to do that for a while.  We head back out; CWP tells us were to stand then leaves, never looking at me.  Then fast forward to the wedding, that's done and then we party it up.

The End!

Maybe I should stop taking naps after work because I seem to get my weirdest dreams during those naps.

Wednesday morning with TJ being out of the office all week meant that no one changed the radios in the OR and exam areas from the city council meeting for Dallas.  So all morning when going to the back for one thing of the other I'm hearing snippets of the meeting and it’s actually kind of interesting.  It looks like Dallas is trying to follow in the steps of California, I'm not sure if it was the whole state or just a city that was trying to or had passed a mandatory spay and neuter law.

I can see it from both sides of the argument on this one.  I for one am all for the spaying and neutering of pets, its healthier for in the long run (minus the one random illness that is passed genetically from neutered male dog, yeah you try and figure that one out) and saves the owner the hassle/stress of puppies/kittens.  It does keep the number of dumped and unwanted animals down if people are spaying and neutering their animals.  It sounds like with this ordinance they are requiring owners to register their pets with the city so the city then can know how many pets people have (right now it sounds like the max number of pets in Dallas is 6 dogs or cats), and so they know if the pets are altered or not.  My problem with city registration is that for an altered pet you have to pay $7 every year.  So even if you are following the rules and what not you still have to pay every year.  Now $7 might not sound like a lot but recently that has been local cities raising their city registration price.  Most things having to do with pets I can understand going up due to the increase of gas prices and also with the recent scares of things from China (yes this has also effected the vet occupation), but really, a city license?  The most current jump in this area was from $5 to $7 for altered pets and $10 to $12, that is a 40% and 20% increase respectively.  Really?  They need this large of jumps?

Back to the ordinance, so they want to charge $7 for an altered pet and then any unaltered pet will be $100.  Now there is a break down on that that I'm not really sure what it is.  I think $30 is for the actual license and $70 is a fine or something like that.  The city is doing this mainly because there are so many stray animals running the streets and they are putting down large numbers of pets in the animal shelters.  The area that this problem is more prevalent is the poorer areas of town, and most of those pets aren't spayed/neutered because the owners can't afford it (this goes to one of my biggest pet peeves, owning a pet you can't afford but that's another rant for another day) does the city really believe that the owner is going to be able to afford the $100.  If that amount isn't paid, from what I understand, the city is going to take possession of the pet, which in the end puts more pets into the shelters, they will spay/neuter the pet but it will just add to the already overflowing shelters which goes back to the whole reason why they started this in the first place.  It’s a nasty circle they are trying to work with.

There apparently will be a difference for breeders, they can get a license (a hefty fee from what I understand) so that they can still breed pets.  But I see a problem with this too.  By making breeders pay to get a license this is going to reflect in what they charge people to buy the pets.  Also, if the plan works as the city is hoping and they do start decreasing the number of animals in the shelters then the only place left for people to get pets would be breeders which in turn once again gives the breeders reason to increase their prices which can always lead to "black market puppies".  Yes there is such a thing as black market puppies.

As it is set forth right now I think I'm more leaning against the ordinance.  I think it’s a good starting point but it needs a lot of work.  Maybe instead of giving hefty fines there can be low cost spay/neuter clinics.  And for breeders there should be better regulations set forth maybe surprise inspections from animal control, yearly checkups for all breeding pets, vets being able to say when a pet should be "retired" from breeding and not high fees to get licensed and then let to go on as they please.

/me gets off soap box.

(There is a short entry below this one if you are signed in)

I meant to write this on Sunday and do a full brain dump after getting home but I was worn out so its just a few days late.

 The full story on the whole me getting sick was kinda funny, looking back now that is.  I had ridden to the rehearsal dinner with Worm and Pog so I got a ride back from them too.  About the time we hit the bridge to go back to Sulphur on our way to the hotels my stomach starts to not feel so good, I figure it just might be my nervous stomach acting up or a burp.  The time we hit the top of the bridge I am in full this is bad and I need to throw up mode.  I tell Worm he needs to pull over as soon as possible.  Not more then a minute later I have climbed across the backseat, gotten the window down and am releasing my dinner in to the fresh summer air. (Great image huh?)  For anyone wondering, throwing up outside a car going 75-80 mph over a very high bridge is really not that fun.  Worm pulls over the second he can and I throw up more.  I figure at this point that my steak wasn’t cooked enough, it hadn’t tasted right when I was eating. After I finish that bought of throwing finish heading to Sulphur and I fall asleep in the backseat.  After finding out that there is a party in my hotel room I’m taken to Worm and Pog’s room where I throw up some more before finally falling into a fitful sleep.

 On the topic of my steak, seems I got one of the bigger slabs of meat.  I hadn’t even gotten through half of it when I stopped eating it.  Doc was sitting next to me and kept eyeing it so I told him to go ahead and take it I was done.  He didn’t but when they came to take my plate away Bob, who was sitting across from me, spoke up and grabbed it so then Doc asked for half of it so my steak didn’t go to waste.  (This is how I knew that I didn’t get sick from the steak bc neither of them got sick..) They finish it off and Pog, who was sitting next to Bob, asks how the steak was and both Bob and Doc are giving it all these compliments and saying it great and then Pog looks as me I barely shake my head no and he nods saying something to the effect of that’s what I figured.  I found it funny how he took my assessment over theirs.

 Now onto the actual wedding day…  After getting back to my hotel room and being a geek and getting on-line I see that Dirt has already been up and posted an entry and is unsure of my condition so I grab a quick shower and head over to her parents’ house a bit earlier then I had planned so as to make sure she didn’t worry.  She and I head over to her brother’s house for her to talk with him some then she, Kt, and I head out get out nails done.  After nails it was hair and then back to Burt’s (her brother) to grab something to eat because it is now 2 o’clock and we hadn’t had anything to eat since before 10.  Once we had something on our stomachs it was back to her parent’s house for her to check on how the decorating was going and then waiting on getting ready.  There was an almost slip up of the groom seeing the bride but was quickly adverted and all was ok.  Dirt did a bit of reigning in of the wedding planner and then she was sent upstairs to wait.  I did some more running back and forth between Dirt and worm and the other guys, then Kirsi, Kitt, and Steph showed up to help with hair and make-up.  There was a lot of waiting around, then pictures, then more waiting around and finally it was time.

The wedding was beautiful, short and very personal.  There were funny moments but that was very much Nirt, nothing ever too serious always having fun in life.  They had all of their siblings in their wedding which was very cool.  Nimby looked very good in his tux, and Dirt looked amazing in her dress.  After the ceremony there were more pictures outside, then pictures inside.  As soon as the photographer told us that we were done with the “formal” pictures Cassie, Kt, and I immediately took off our shoes, and the flip flops went on.  There was tons of food, which I hear was really good, I didn’t really eat anything due to my stomach still not feeling that great.  There wasn’t too much shoving of cake into each other’s faces, but there was Dirt’s dad trying to shove a strawberry up Nimby’s nose. J The rest of the reception was pretty awesome, there was a moment of not very clear thinking on the guys part so I had to go be the nagging/pissy one which of course was just put off as me being me (thanks a lot guys) and not me doing something Dirt asked me to do.  So I got frustrated at that and that I was just kinda blown off but its over and done with.  I got to be the get away driver for the happy couple so my back seat is full of birdseed. 

 After dropping them off at the hotel and telling them to call me in the morning for when they wanted to be picked up I headed back to my hotel.  Surprisingly I was the first one back to my room so I started to change when there was a knock on the door.  I open the door to find two of Nirt’s old roommate standing there.

Roommate: “How did you get in?”
Me: “I have a key.”
R: “Oh they gave you a key?”
M: “No this is my room.”
R: “Oh, well we were told the after party is here.”
M: Face drops
R: “You know we could be wrong, look there they are, we will go talk to them.” And they quickly run off.

Moments later Vazz and Kitt come in, I’m introduced to the room that I had helped pay for and was informed I did actually get to sleep in the other bed.  Then there was more talk of an after party, me on the verge of tears, hugs from Vazz and Kitt and the party was moved.  I finally got out of the dress, talked with Kitt some and then there was trying to sleep.  I think I finally crashed around midnight, after trying to sleep for like an hour and a half.

 Sunday morning there was the process of taking down my hair, I hadn’t wanted to do it the night before due to my exhaustion so after almost 10 minutes and 42 bobby pins later my hair was free.  And this is where the title comes from.  After I met up with Worm, Pog, and buuph I mentioned how many bobby pins had been in my hair.  It was then decided that the ultimate question to life, the universe and everything is “How many bobby pins does it take to hold 7wiggy’s hair up?” (For those of you who may be confused go read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams)  I ended up having to look up the number to the hotel that Nirt was staying in and get connected to their room to get a hold of them that morning.  Picked them up, there was transfer of luggage between many cars and then brunch at Cracker Barrel. 

 After we ate Worm, Pog and I got on the road and headed home.  For the most part the trip was uneventful, minus the whole my car not shifting when I was trying to pass a car and barely making it over before an 18 wheeler caught up to me, having a truck try to change lanes into me, and then having another truck ride my ass.  Got home around 7:30 or so.

 I have lots of pictures, they are up and captioned but I’m not sure what is going on with the site they are on and if its going live or not yet.  As soon as I know I will post the link here.  But for now go here and see the slide show the photographer made of the wedding day.

-When I drove into Louisiana on Thursday night it was the first time I actually drove into Louisiana.  On all other trips to LA Pog always seemed to be the one that actually did the driving over the state line part.

-This is my first time coming to LA without Pog.  I mean yeah he's here but we didn't come together and weren't in the same car or on the same plane.

-This was my first road trip completely by myself since the summer of 2005.  Any other road trip I've taken since then I've either had at least one friend or my dogs with me.

-I love cajun food.  I was so excited about having crawfish Thursday night.  I also love coming to LA because there is always really awesome food in large supply.  I mean really, if I get hungry around here its my own fault.  Yesterday morning I was offered breakfast but both of Dirt's parents, her sister and one of her brothers.  And yesterday when her mom hadn't seen that I had eaten lunch she offered me more food.  This happens every time I come to LA, there is lots of food and people are constantly offering it to me.

-Dirt is really fun when she is plastered, and she tells you she is plastered many times while plastered.  Yes I know I used plastered a lot in that sentence, just trying to give you an idea of how much she said it to me.

-I am not a fan of frogs falling off of windshields and trying to land on me.  It scares the crap out of me actually.

-I am a fan bow tie-ing fien!  I was busting out the fans with bows like crazy yesterday morning at Dirt's parents' house, it was fun.

-Getting sick and throwing up is apparently the cool thing to do this weekend.  Both Dirt and I have managed to do it.  Thankfully (for me at least) mine wasn't as bad as Dirts.  Stomach isn't all the way back up to par but its getting there.

-It's 8am on Saturday morning.  I am still in my dress from the rehersal dinner which took place last night, bc I ended up sleeping in said dress due to that whole getting sick.  There was a party in my hotel room last night so it was figured a quiet room would be better for me to be sick in so I was taken to Worm and Pog's room where I crashed... after getting rid of dinner the same way it went down.  :(

-Throwing up out of a car going 75+ mph over a bridge isn't that fun.

-Apparently in small town Texas the Health Care Center consists of condoms and french ticklers.

Will add more as they come.

Right now I'm sitting on Dirt's daybed in her parent's house, she's still sleeping off the funness that was last night.  But before I get to that let me get you through the rest of the day.

Got up yesterday morning at 6am, couldn't sleep any longer so I figured I might as well get up and not bother my back by just laying in bed.  The plan was to go to work, walk the dogs, change litter and leave.  That didn't work out that way.  It was pouring in the morning on my way to work, fun.  I get to work and TJ is there so he helps me with cleaning the kennels.  He has a few bills to pay and asks me to take care of some office stuff before I head out, no problem.  I go ahead and unlock the front door and put up the sign that the Doctor isn't in.  Well, right at 8 am a guy comes rushing in with his dog, its straining to poop and has been throwing up and is lathargic.  Its one of those things where you can look at the dog and know its in pain.  I go back and talk to TJ and he says he'll go ahead and take a look.  To make a long story short, the dog had a bone stuck sideways in it lower colon and we had to do emergency surgery to get it out.  So instead of getting out of work around 8:15 I leave at 9:30ish.  Head home change, put my stuff in the car, run by a few stores for last minute things and by 11 I'm on the road to Houston.

For the most part the trip was good.  Almost got killed by Friendship Hope Church bc they didn't know how to drive in a caravan properly.  Got stuck in some traffic just outside of Houston due to wreck that got NINETEEN tow trucks, for what looked like only one car.  Made it to Dic's house around 3:30ish.  Dropped off airbeds and cookies and then got on my way to Sulphur.

Had a detour in San Jacinto to play a practical joke on one of TJs old college roommates.  TJ had sent a box down to him.  I met up with a Tech that works mornings at the clinic of the guy (Dr. Wright is the night vet at the clinic.) who had a dark SUV, changed into my suit and we went in.  We told the guy that we had been watching TJ for illegal shipping of controlled substances and we believed that he might of sent some to this doctor and we need to check the box that he received and we were wondering if he had anything to do with it.  The look on this guys face was priceless!  We go to his office where the box is, that the people at the clinic had put bio-hazard stickers on, I open it up and with a very serious face look in and shake my head.  I swear the guy was sweating.  I look up at him and say "Dr Wright, I hate to say it but" pull of the cake that was in the box "Happy Retirement!"  I think he almost shit his pants!  It was great, and thankfully I didn't give him a heartattack and kill him.  So tell him TJ had set me up to it, I was one of his techs.  Then it was back to my car, change back into my other clothes and finished the trip to Sulphur.

Met up with Dirt and her family at her niece's softball game, then off to have dinner.  If I haven't mentioned it before, I LOVE cajun food!  Yay for crawfish!!  After dinner Dirt and I went out with one of her brothers, her sister and her sister's boyfriend to meet up with some of her sister's friends for drinks.  Dirt got a bit more drunk then she meant to.  So we came back to her parent's talked with the drunk guys at Nimby's party and then crashed around 2:45.  For anyone keeping count, that means I was awake for almost 21 hours yesterday.

But it was a good day and now its off to help where I can with the setting up of the wedding!

Can someone please tell me why my white bras keep breaking or falling apart?  This is the third one this year and this was a replacement of the first one that broke this year.  Am I just not suppose to have white bras or something?

Have you ever felt so sure and yet unsure about something?  It makes no sense but that's where I am right now.